All posts by lifemywayadmin

The trouble with busy

I don’t believe in busy. I haven’t for a long time. I used to. I always liked the expression “If you want something done ask the busiest person.” That conveys what I consider to be “proper busy”, legitimately busy. Busy before busy got a bad rap. I always think of a select few people when I hear that phrase. They are active, productive, involved, interesting, interested people. And if you want them to do something for you, from reading over a job application or writing you a reference to meeting up for coffee or lunch, they make time in their busy lives and they do it with good grace. No moaning, no hassle, no sense that you’re putting them out, they cheerfully slot you in and are happy to tell you what they’ve been doing and ask a million questions about you and your life, because despite everything going on in their lives, they have plenty of mental space to consider and show interest in what’s going on in yours. And you know what, they would never moan about being “busy”.

But busy nowadays has become an excuse. An excuse for being disorganised, an excuse for being self absorbed, self important and self righteous. And worst of all, an excuse for laziness. Too lazy to get organised and prioritise and use your brain instead of flapping and blowing hot air.

A recent (text) conversation:

Me- Don’t suppose you are free for a coffee tomorrow?

B- Can’t do sorry. Busy for the next few weeks but maybe March we can catch up? Our weekends are so full!

Me- We are away for the whole of March

B- Ok- April?

It’s 7th February.

All this from someone who works Monday to Friday (sometimes). Has her late primary school aged children 50% of the time (the rest of the time they are with their father). Her current partner works 9-3 and has school holidays off. What is she so busy doing? She’s one person who gives “busy” a bad name.

Some time ago I read something that suggested the next time someone tells you they’re too busy to do something, swap their words for “That’s not a priority for me right now”. This works both ways. I use it to work for me as follows: Am I too “busy” to do this thing? Maybe. Is it a priority right now? No. Busy/priority/whatever label you want to use, it goes to the bottom of my list. But it also works in reverse. Someone’s too “busy” to fit you into their lives? You aren’t a priority to them. No hard feelings, it just helps put things in perspective.

That’s why I don’t believe in busy.

Eat Less

So here we are, 4 weeks into 2017 and I’m not entirely convinced that “Simplify” has been a very successful guiding principle so far! I increased my hours at work as of Jan 2nd and ran into problems with clashes between my two jobs in the first fortnight, meaning a bit of juggling and swapping things around and a couple of rather unpleasant stretches involving too much work and not enough sleep. But I survived.

I thought I’d try, partly inspired by The Happiness Project and partly by the Slow Home Experiment, a sort of sub-theme each month. For January I chose “sugar free”. After the calorie and sugar laden excess of Christmas, it seemed like an obvious choice. Until it didn’t. I have outlined some of my dieting views before and have previously identified that “Eat Less” is really the simplest, most effective underlying principle to lose weight. (It’s often accompanied by “Move More” which has merit but is not essential.) However, despite myself, I summoned (again) for Jan 1 great excitement and enthusiasm, all fired up about “No sugar.” I’ve also written about “No Sugar” approaches before, and although I am skeptical about the science behind them, I remain convinced that minimizing sugar is a good thing, for lots of reasons which have very little to do with Sarah Wilson.

But “No sugar” is not a simple as “Eat Less”. No sugar? Any sugar? Added sugar? Fruit sugar? What about dried fruit? What about a little bit of sugar? Well what about a little bit more (you’ve done well this week)? Well then why not a lot more, you may as well, now that you’ve had some today, but tomorrow you’re going back to no sugar…

And ok no sugar, so does that mean fat and protein are ok? They became my default indulgences… I can’t eat sugar but I feel like something, so I’ll eat half a jar of almonds….. not going to lose much weight or promote normal eating behaviours that way!!

Suddenly I found myself in that crazy diet mentality that I’ve been in so many times before. Eliminate something completely and it’s effective up to a point but when you slip up you write off the whole day/week etc and vastly overcompensate for what you’ve sacrificed up to that point. I spent my entire teenhood and twenties going round in circles like this, how can I be here again?

So. “Eat Less”. My diet mantra. Simplified.

(“Eat more vegetables” would be diet rule number two. We’ll leave “Move More” for another day.)

Traditions

The Christmas and New Year period, for many people, is a time when family and personal traditions are practiced and compared. There are traditions people relish, traditions people dread and others that are carried out each year “just because that’s what we always do”.

I’ve often wondered what happens when one person’s traditions need to merge with another’s. Mr L and I, although both from (non-practising) Christian backgrounds, still grew up with different traditions around this time of year but bringing those practices together to form new ones hasn’t really been a big deal so far. Until this year (well maybe last year), our children were too young to really “get” Christmas so we haven’t really needed to establish much in the way of expectations around all the Christmas goings-on (presents, food, activities, extended family etc). But this year Master and Miss L are very aware it’s Christmas and so I started to think about more about how I’d like us to remember our family Christmases.

Here are some traditions we started, kept, re-vamped or threw out this Christmas:

Advent Calendars

I LOVED the practice of opening an Advent calendar leading up to Christmas as a child. In the 1970s and early 80s, chocolate calendars weren’t around. Every year I’d have the old fashioned cardboard calendar, with a wintery nativity scene, a sprinkling of glitter, and a daily search for the relevant number. Behind each window was a picture of something very simple- a star, a robin, a spring of holly- yet each day’s window seemed absolutely magical to open. I had a chocolate calendar one year (once they became more popular), but found the chocolate disappointing and the ugly plastic mould that was left once you’d eaten it really unsightly and went back to the picture-style calendar the next year. Simple, cardboard Advent calendars with pictures are really hard to find in Australia, so this year I bought a wooden Christmas tree with a 24 small drawers in it- each drawer just big enough to fit a few smarties or other small lollies. We added one drawer each night so the kids got to see the calendar fill up each morning during the countdown to Christmas. They got the magic of a surprise, the sight of something beautiful, the sense of anticipation, all with chocolate thrown in!

Christmas Eve outing

I remember as a child Christmas Eve being the most agonising of days- the long wait, my parents “getting ready” for Christmas (usually a fairly boring affair with my Dad doing last minute shopping and wrapping- adding to the anticipation but not really entertaining on a practical level) and my Mum cleaning and baking (but “Don’t eat all the mince pies!”) Until now as an adult, Christmas Eve has often been a busy, stressful, exhausting day, fighting crowds at the shops and doing a mountain of food prep to try and feed guests the next day with maximum efficiency on the day. This year (helped by the fact that we weren’t hosting anyone other than ourselves on Christmas Day) we decided to do something completely non-Christmas related. We went to the zoo. It took the kids’ minds off how excited they were and was a lovely relaxing way to have fun as a family. Importantly it also didn’t involve eating, drinking or presents! This is a “tradition” (if you can call it that after one instance) I’d like to continue.

Turkey

I like to eat turkey at Christmas. For no other reason than it feels Christmassy (I do like the taste, too!) Mr L is never that fussed, he always protests “But turkey’s so dry!” But while living in NZ that changed. We found this Annabel Langbein recipe for brining turkey which, along with not overcooking it, makes it so much more appetising. I’m open to turkey alternatives, but one a year, I do enjoy turkey.

Christmas Tree

I’ve always been a “not until the weekend before Xmas” tree putter-upper. Partly so that Christmas doesn’t monopolise the whole month of December, but also because a real tree struggles to last more than a couple of weeks, especially in Australian summer. This year though, we got our tree a bit earlier and so enjoyed it for longer in the lead up to Christmas (which, thanks in part to preschool Christmas preparations, now seems to monopolise not just the whole of December, but also November!) My other tree tradition was to leave it up until Jan 6th, “Twelfth Night”- I have no idea why. I mean, I know it’s a common tradition but it has no practical relevance to my life… in fact it’s completely impractical. I’m usually back at work by Jan 6th so taking it down is a hassle and by then, Christmas seems sooooo far over that it’s crazy still having a tree up! This year I began to gradually put away the decorations starting Boxing Day, just a few at a time, and the tree was the last thing to go, on New Year’s Eve. It felt much more appropriate and manageable.

Which Christmas traditions have you embraced? Rejected? Reworked?

Hello again

Forgive me blog-gods for I have sinned. It has been aaaages since my last post…. I’m not Catholic but I do feel bad for not writing. This isn’t some end of year/New Year’s Resolution thing though (I’ve already done the blog post on NYRs). It’s simply that the downtime that Christmas has provided this year means I actually have the time, energy and opportunity to write again. (Also, I’ve just paid my renewal fees to save this blog from going to its cyber-grave, and it’s hard to justify handing over money then not writing.)

In recent years I’ve come across the idea of coming up with a theme for the year ahead (in lieu of a NYR) several times. [And between writing this post and posting it every blogger and her dog seems to have announced their word.] And yet it’s never an idea that’s really grabbed me. I’ve toyed with it, asked myself which word or phrase I would choose if I were to choose one, but either I’ve not been able to get past the word used in whichever post I’ve been reading (I’ve never been terribly imaginative), or I haven’t been able to come up with a word that seemed specific enough to apply in practical ways yet at the same time broad enough to apply to everything. But this year, without even thinking about it too hard, one word popped into my head:

Simplify

Why simplify? Well, it sums up a useful principle for so many areas of life (possibly all areas). 2017 has the potential to be a busy, stressful year. Master L is starting school and I’m picking up a whole load more work and balancing 2 jobs plus a sizeable load of unpaid work- I’m going to need to keep things as simple as possible at a time when it’ll easy to let things get complicated. It’s applicable to diet, to exercise, to general household stuff (especially to clutter avoidance). It has the potential to make my mornings calmer, my evenings more productive and my days smoother, if I can block out the complications imposed by the buzz of social media, compulsive device checking and other general time wasters. And with relationships and friendships, it makes things clearer too- what are the issues, what’s the bottom line and do I need or want this friend(ship), encounter or conversation?

So cheers! To a simpler 2017. Happy New Year

 

 

168 hours

Some weeks ago, I read Laura Vanderkam’s 168 hours. Actually, I borrowed 3 of her books from the library but read 168 hours first because it was written first. Which was a good decision, because the other two I borrowed (I Know How She Does It and What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast) are essentially the principles of 168 hours applied in subtly different contexts. I must confess I skipped the latter and returned it to the library unread.

I had mixed (but mostly positive) feelings about what she had to say. Essentially, the basic message of the book is that we aren’t as busy as we think we are and we have more time than we think we do (168 hours per week, to be precise). That’s a lot of time. Even if you work 50 hours a week and get 8 hours sleep a night, that’s still 62 hours a week to do other things. Which, regardless of how you look at it, is a lot of time. I guess many “busy” people will say “Oh but you still have to factor in your commute, cooking, cleaning, showering, down time (ie TV and internet in most cases), it’s amazing how it all fills up!” Yes, it is amazing, that’s part of Vanderkam’s point. We fritter away all this time and then complain that we have no time to do the things we “really want to” do.

She recommends keeping a time log for a week, recording every 15 or 30 minutes what you’re doing. I managed this for about 2 days. I found that, rather than make me to realise how much time I waste on Facebook (I don’t need a time log to tell me that!) it made me more productive as I was conscious of not wanting to write “checking FB” in my log. Which is one of Gretchen’s big things for habit change- the strategy of monitoring, whereby recording your actions has the effect of automatically improving your performance, even without any analysis or conscious attempt to change.

At first I started to think that what Vanderkam had to say was contradictory to the slow-living/mindfulness philosophy I’ve been working gradually into our lives lately. “Making the most” of an idle 5 or 15 minutes here or there seemed like a recipe for being overwrought. But much of her approach is very much in line with slow living. She says, in the introduction:

Like everything else, living intentionally becomes easier over time.

Another of the strategies the book advocates for creating time to do more enjoyable things and fewer chores is outsourcing. Vanderkam cites multiple examples of people (albeit mainly single men) who pay a cleaner, someone to do their laundry, their ironing and even their cooking. She suggests buying ready or partly-made meals. I have to admit she started to lose me here. We’ve had a cleaner before and while, in some respects, I do agree to paying someone to do the things I don’t want to do myself (she seems to assume money is no issue for most of us), I can’t pay someone to do all the things I don’t want to do all the time. For example, the most we would ever have a cleaner is once a week. Before they come I would tidy up and put things away, because I want them to clean the shower and mop the floors (jobs I hate), not tidy up (which I don’t have a huge problem doing). I think probably almost 50% of the benefit of having the cleaner comes from the tidying up you do before they come. Another 20% is the “Wow” factor when you walk into your spotless house. This lasts maybe half a day and then it’s all undone again. Chances are the vacuuming will need doing again before they come again next week. A maximally useful cleaner to me would probably come and clean for an hour every second day, then a bit longer once a fortnight or once a month. But what cleaner wants to do that? And who wants to be tidying up for a cleaner every other day?

Many of her other outsourcing suggestions conflict with our zero-waste/environmental aspirations. I don’t want to buy “partly made” (read processed) meals. I don’t really want to drive anywhere to drop off my washing and even if someone drives to me to pick it up, I still have to be home to give it to them. And they’ve used petrol to drive to my house. Taking Mr L’s shirts to the dry cleaners to be washed and ironed is nice from time to time, but they return then wrapped in plastic and then you have to remember to get him to take the hangers back…. So, I wasn’t sold on that.

What I did like was her suggestion that you make a “list of 100 dreams” (I got to about 20) of things you’d like to do. Then, instead of letting your week fill up with all the wishy washy, chore-like, non-specific busyness of life, you take a 2 or 3 of those dreams (she suggests one is physical exercise) and you schedule time for them.

She’s also a big advocate for working mothers getting on with it and I like that. Lately I’ve become a little bored of the constant whine of the mummy blogger- “I’m so busy, I do everything for my kids, I’m burnt out, I’m so stressed, I’m anxious, I have no time for myself, I’m having a nervous breakdown”… these women stressing about housework and cooking and getting their kids to 100 different activities, all while working from home, where “work” seems to consist of posting articles on immaculately designed blogs about how to make these activities more efficient, more rewarding or more beautiful. So it’s actually quite refreshing to hear someone say “You can work a full time job and have children, but you might have to decide what it is in your and your kids lives that really matter and be a bit innovative with your routine in order to fit it all in. Oh and you’ll probably need to organise some childcare.” While the mummy blogger cries into her kombucha because she chose to be a SAHM (which I sometimes think ought to be renamed BAHM- Blog at Home Mum) but she actually finds it a bit unfulfilling at the end of the day. I’m being a bit harsh, they’re not all like that, but there are definitely a lot of martyrish overtones out there that wear a little thin after a while.

She sums up perfectly how I’d like to describe my attitude to being a working mother:

…Motherhood did not ruin my career, and my work has not detracted from how much I love being a mom, particularly the small moments the universe grants in abundance when you choose to pay attention.

All in all, this was quite a motivating book which encouraged me to look at how much time I have, how much time I waste, and re-think how I go about deciding what to do with my time. I also realised it’s actually nice to have a bit of time to do nothing, but it’s much nicer doing nothing when you do it intentionally. The book was easy to read and satisfying to finish. Thank you Laura!

Cobwebs

Lately I’ve been craving time outside. It’s not as if I’m not an outdoors person normally, I’ve know for a long time that when I get that sleepy, lethargic, bleurch feeling, going for a walk leaves me feeling invigorated and refreshed. Despite relishing the occasional lazy day at home, I wouldn’t describe myself as an “indoors person”. My mother always used to espouse the benefits of “blowing away the cobwebs” (usually requiring “fresh air” to do so.) There are many things I disagree with my mother about, but this has never been one of them.

Lately, however, it seems like more than that. Maybe it’s that we’ve been spoiled this year with a really mild autumn, conducive to outdoor pottering. It’s mid-May and still shorts and t-shirt weather during the day, with temperatures in the low 20s. Maybe it’s that I’ve grown a little tired of cooking, tidying, and essentially doing “inside jobs”. Maybe I’ve been so encouraged by the success of my pumpkin seed planting that I fancy myself as something of a green thumb now.

I’m not sure what it is, but I frequently feel the urge to go outside and just potter around the garden, tidy up a bit, check the plants, even take the kitchen compost container out to the compost bin (previously on my list of jobs to avoid/wait for Mr L to do). I love taking the dog for a stroll, partly because I’ll often listen to a podcast, but also just for the sake of it. Yesterday I ran/walked for an hour with the dog and baby L in the stroller in the morning, yet still felt claustrophobic and stuffy again, after spending the remainder of the day inside.

So today I ate my breakfast sitting on a garden chair on the back patio. I thought about what we can do to spend more of our time outside. By happy(ish) coincidence, I found the library shut when I turned up this afternoon, coffee in hand, to do some work, so I sat on the wall by the beach for a bit, watching the choppy waves and the squally skies and breathing in the saltiness, thinking “So long, cobwebs”.

That Sugar Film

In spite of (or perhaps because of) my skepticism about “I Quit Sugar” and the whole anti-sugar movement, I was curious to watch That Sugar Film.

All in all, I found it to be a well put-together documentary presented by seemingly sensible and fairly intelligent (albeit lay) people.

Damon Gameau, a clean-eating (thanks to his girlfriend) hipster-cum-hippy decides to start consuming the sugar intake of the average Australian (apparently 40 tsp, or 160g per day). He undertakes to consume this sugar in the form of “non-junk” food- no fizzy drink, lollies, chocolate or ice-cream. In order to consume all this sugar he does eat a lot of food which I personally wouldn’t consider “healthy”, but your average Joe Blow probably would (low fat flavoured yoghurt, processed cereal, iced tea, muesli bars etc).

His “expert” panel, which he consults regularly, consists of David Gillespie, a lawyer who wrote “Sweet Poison” (hmmmm, conflict of interest maybe?), a nutritionist (fair enough), a pathologist (not entirely sure of his relevance except to recount Damon’s blood test results- he fizzles out toward the end anyway, as David Gillespie evidently earns himself a science, possibly even a medical degree over the course of the two month experiment) and an actual doctor whose exact role I was unsure of, I think they were too. Gary Taubes (author of “Why we get fat” and somewhat fanatical “investigative journalist”), is introduced early on and is consulted more and more frequently as the film goes on. Not an endocrinologist or a biochemist in sight.

Basically, the film does a good job of telling us sugar is bad for us and that it’s everywhere. Correction: it’s in just about every processed food you might buy. It’s added to a lot of foods many people don’t think of as unhealthy. It contributes to weight gain and diabetes and really has nothing good about it.

The film touches on the fructose debate with the argument about our livers converting it straight to fat. Happily, it doesn’t victimise poor old fruit or suggest we shouldn’t be eating that.

The film leaves the calorie issue until late. Damon claims to eat 2300 calories per day on his “normal” (low sugar diet). He then says he’s eating “pretty much” the same number on his high-sugar diet, although it’s pretty hard to count them, “obviously”. I’m not sure why it’s so hard to count calories when he’s counting grams of sugar without any problem. The nutritionist at the end, though, says he’s eating the same number. I’m slightly dubious about this, given his claims of being “unable” to count calories but anyway.

The film strays into an “us vs them” vein at one point, which started to annoy me. Damon questioned a “physician scientist” (whatever that is) who was the first to really talk about calories. The scientist very sensibly pointed out that if you obtained too many of your calories from any one source, such as French fries or white bread, not just sugar, you’d probably feel dreadful as well. Damon then asked him (apropros of nothing) if he received any funding from Coca Cola and he said “yes, they fund my research”. I just found this deliberately and annoyingly provocative. If they wanted an “unbiased” view why did they ask a Coca Cola beneficiary for their opinion, only to then pretend to “expose” them (as if it was some kind of conspiracy). Moreover, maybe the film makers should look at their own “experts’” unmade disclosures, rather than asking/paying two non-scientists who’ve made a career out of writing “anti-sugar” books to give an un-biased opinion in a film about sugar. David Gillespie, the lawyer, even takes it upon himself at the end of the film to diagnose Damon with “well established fatty liver, well on your way to full-blown cirrhosis” on the basis of a slight rise in Damon’s liver function tests. I think that’s a big call in the absence of an ultrasound- oh, and a doctor!!!

So it sort of ends with a “sugar is poison” feel to it. Earlier in the film, Damon takes 4 apples and juices them, and points out that most people would eat maybe one or two apples but that it’s easy to drink 4 juiced apples. Which is true. But I’m not sure that really says anything about sugar, it’s the processing which removes all the good stuff and leaves behind sugary water which we can “slam down fast”. (Speaking of which, I’d love a Solo right now…..)

So what can we/I/anyone take away from all this? At the end of the day, I think the film’s basic message is probably a good one. Eat less sugar by eating less processed food and more simple, natural, unprocessed food. Whether this makes us healthier by virtue of the sugar reduction, the calorie reduction or the increase in good fats and fibre, hardly matters. It’ll make me re-think my Saturday afternoon ice-cream, at any rate!!!!!

Which wolf are you feeding?

I’ve been listening to past episodes of the Slow Home Podcast and the other day heard Brooke recount her interview with Eric Zimmer and the parable of the two wolves.

So apparently this is a Cherokee Indian tale about an old man talking to his grandson. The old man says: “Inside all of us is an ongoing battle, between a bad wolf and a good wolf. The bad wolf is everything undesirable in us, it is anger, jealousy, greed, pride and selfishness. The good wolf is the opposite, it is kindness, patience, generosity, humility and calm.” The grandson thinks for a while and then asks “Which wolf wins in the end, grandfather?” and the old man replies “Whichever one you feed.”

Immediately I realised how universally applicable this parable probably was. It doesn’t take much digesting to understand it, you hear it once and it’s there, in your head. Since hearing it, I’ve been thinking repeatedly “Which wolf will I feed?”

So far, I’ve been thinking about my wolves when it come to the most basic of choices. Do I complain about my sister not thanking me for the birthday present I sent my niece, do I send her passive aggressive texts that try and make a point that she should have said thank you? Which wolf do I feed? I can feed the resentment and anger or I can let it go and just be nice. Do I eat the whole block of chocolate? Feed the bad wolf- the lazy, over-indulgent, mindless side of me, or do I feed the restrained, mindful, responsible one? Do I snap at the kids because I am tired and they have asked me the same question for the hundredth time today? Do I feed the impatient, selfish, childish wolf, or do I feed the kind and patient one?

I then went and listened to the actual podcast in which Brooke interviews Eric Zimmer and her final question to him is “What do you think are particular traits or habits of people who mostly choose to feed the good wolf?” He tells her the things he believes are the most important are:

  • Awareness that there is a choice. No matter how big or small the issue, we choose how we respond
  • Awareness that feeding the good wolf is an ongoing process and a means to an end. You may not always feel like feeding the good wolf, but if you want the better outcome, you’ll feed it regardless.

Food for thought (and wolves!) I have subscribed to Zimmer’s own podcast, The One You Feed. Perhaps that’ll be number 4 in my list of favoured podcasts!!

Our Family Mission Statement

Bleuch….. nothing makes me roll my eyes and write off a blog post quicker than this heading. Lately it seems everyone is writing “family mission statements”. After hearing on a podcast today yet ANOTHER person (a man- so far I thought it was only women writing these things) talk about a “family mission statement”, I tried to put my finger on just what it was that makes me recoil from the idea of writing one for the L family.

Firstly, it’s cheesey. I mean there’s a certain cringe-factor about it. Which is a bit of a non-reason, but for me a mission statement carries associations of evangelical, all-American, lip-servicing Joneses showing off what decent, thoughtful, mindful people they are. I just think it’s kind of contrived and phoney. I’m not really one for having framed slogans and the like dotted around the house, whether they be fridge magnets saying “Kiss the cook!”, coffee mugs with some obvious statement about caffeine and mornings or framed “quotes” in white writing on a pastel backgrounds hanging on the wall.

So is it not just my “thing”? And should it be? I think if I suggested to Mr L that we sit down and write our “family mission statement” he’d think I’d gone nuts. “Why do we need to do that?”, I think he would say.

And that, really, led me to the answer… Why do people feel the need to write a “family mission statement” and, more importantly, why don’t I?

For Mr L and myself, our values for life are pretty closely aligned already. Maybe there are some couples whose values aren’t, I don’t know, but I wonder why you marry someone who doesn’t mostly feel the same way about things that you do. I mean, Mr L likes to watch sport on TV while I’d rather be watching Teen Mom or some such trash, so I’m not saying we like exactly the same things on a day to day basis, but overall, we have the same basic priorities. We like to get out and do things, value experiences over stuff, and generally try to avoid pretentious people, things and fads. Those are the values we try to instill in our kids, too. It’s not like we sat down before we got married or when I was pregnant with Master L and said “Right, how are we going to raise our children, what sort of parents are we going to be, are they going to wear designer clothing or hand-sewn clothes?” How could we have known, for a start? But I felt secure enough knowing that our basic principles were aligned that I didn’t feel a big discussion was necessary. Of course, it’s not like we never even speak about these things, it’s just that we don’t really feel the need to be prescriptive about them.

All the mission statements I’ve read so far seem to state the obvious as well. I haven’t read any that say “We aim to sit inside watching as much TV as possible and be really mean to everyone we meet”. Do you really need to be reminded of your own core values constantly with a written set of instructions? And if so can they really be considered core values?

I find them vague, as well, which is probably because their purpose seems to be to cover every imaginable situation for an infinite length of time. I’m fairly confident the issues that we face now with preschoolers aren’t the same ones we’ll face with teenagers (although with Miss L I sometimes wonder) and that we’ll need the be flexible and sometimes innovative to make decisions about the issues that will come up later in life. And again, we’ll be guided by our own basic principles, which we carry around with us all the time, in our heads and/or our hearts. I for one can’t see myself dashing home to consult the mission statement before deciding whether to let Miss L stay over at a friend’s house and miss a family camping trip. And somehow I don’t think Mr L will be, either!

 

 

Podcasts 101

I’ve recently got into podcasts. Despite my relatively new-found simple living enthusiasm, (and therefore new-found guilt over anything that vaguely resembles multitasking,) I really love listening to them when I’m walking the dog, or preparing something long and slightly tedious in the kitchen. Actually at the moment, everything in the kitchen seems long and very tedious but never mind…. I find them far more rewarding to listen to than reading a blog post, which I only ever seem to skim through. I’ve also discovered I really enjoy listening to them when I run. I recently did the Coatesville Classic Half Marathon and my “training” runs (such was they were) were less painful with some interesting subject matter to listen to, rather than just a somewhat clichéd playlist.

I’ve found three that I regularly follow so thought I’d give them a plug…

  1. Happier with Gretchen Rubin

No surprises here, Gretchen groupie that I am. I loved this podcast from the first episode. She hosts it with her sister, who she talks about in her books. They seem genuinely quite close, although they live on opposite sides of the US and have very different lives, careers and, seemingly, personalities. Their discussions are very much based around the themes of Gretchen’s books about happiness (obviously) and habits, so a lot of the content is familiar to me. Despite this, and what I find quite impressive, it doesn’t get boring. Each episode is divided into well-defined segments and those segments appear each episode. This may not seem like such a bit deal but several of the podcasts I’ve tried and given up on really fall down for their lack of structure. They pretty much consist of two people wittering on for an hour about a subject they consider themselves qualified to talk about, but really, it’s just like eavesdropping on a conversation you’re not able to join in, and most of the time, don’t really want to anyway. So, “Happier”, I’m hooked!

  1. The Slow Home Podcast with Brooke McAlary

I wasn’t too sure about this one when I started but it’s grown on me. Australian slow living enthusiast Brooke McAlary (who I’d never heard of before I found her blog and then podcast) hosts a weekly discussion that usually consists of an interview with a guest. The guests vary in their degree of interest, relevance (to me anyway) and notoriety- they have been as mundane as a self-proclaimed “normal” person, who was simply a narcissistic podcast listener who put herself forward to be interviewed under the misapprehension that other people might be interested in her “story”- groan…. and as well-known as (can you guess?) Gretchen Rubin and Bea Johnson. When I first started listening I was a little irritated by the casual colloquialism of the podcast- I thought it made it sound a bit amateurish. The 5-10 minute intro she does with her husband, which generally includes a bit of giggling and silly couple’s jokes as well as occasional interruptions from their kids only exacerbates that. But as I’ve stuck with it I’ve got used to the (?over-) familiar introductory chit-chat and besides, the real meat of the podcast is in the people she talks to and most of the interviews (narcissistic listener aside) have been really interesting. She actually does a pretty good job (not that I’m exactly qualified to say!) as an interviewer, and I think (without wanting to sound patronising) she’s really improved since I started listening. So for now I’ll keep it on my playlist!

  1. Eliza Starting at 16

Ok so the ONLY reason I started following this one is because she’s (I’m really sorry) Gretchen Rubin’s daughter! Yep, and she’s 16, so I feel even more tragic. I didn’t sign up for this one straight away but I gave it a go and I’ve kind of been drawn in. Partly because it’s short but also because I’m actually quite impressed by how articulate and intelligent she appears to be, without sounding too precocious. Her venting over 16 year old “issues” in some ways reminds me of my own 16 year old angst (well to be perfectly honest, it resembles more the 16 year old I wish I had been). Occasionally she even hits the nail right on the head and articulates, very eloquently, grievances I still share. For instance, her vent about pop-music snobbery and how everyone’s too cool and too intellectual listening to alternative indie music to admit they find Top 40 cheese quite catchy. As soon as she said it I thought “Yes! That’s exactly how I felt all through uni and sometimes even now!!” Anyway, I’m pretty sure it’s not for everyone (the podcast, not just Top 40 music), but I like it.

And that’s it, I’ve tried and tossed about 10 others but I can’t be bothered moaning about those!