Tag Archives: Shawn Achor

Happiness is…

One of my “things” for 2015 was to look more into the concept of happiness. I had stumbled across Shawn Achor already and then I stumbled across Gretchen Rubin and her “Happiness Project”. Intrigued, I reserved her book of the same title in the library and I finished reading it a couple of weeks ago.

It’s hard to say what I thought of it. She certainly had a lot of interesting stuff to say and it provided ample food for thought over the last couple of weeks. Evidently intelligent, educated and articulate, she writes about a year of her life where she conducts her own Happiness Project, dedicating each month to a specific task, area or goal intended to make her happier.

I guess I was expecting a light- hearted, witty, entertaining account where she transformed her life with minimal effort into something shiny and bright. Instead, the book was an honest, considered, almost thesis-style report of some of the day-to-day details of her life she felt she needed to change to become happier. As I said, there was a lot of interesting stuff in there, but there were also quite a few bits I skipped (such as reprints of lengthy comments posted by her own blog followers). She came across as a rather serious person who really had to try hard to embrace happiness. In her own words:

“I had a tendency to be discontented: ambitious, dissatisfied, fretful, and tough to please.”

She just doesn’t come across as a particularly likeable author, protagonist and main character and I think that’s partly what un-did me. Likeable’s possibly the wrong word, it’s not that she’s unlikeable either… but then, it’s not a work of fiction and I don’t think it’s designed to entertain, as such, it’s an act of sharing, and if by sharing, it helps people, great. Of course, it’s also how she makes a living now (as a writer).

I think the main things that bothered me about this book, through no fault of the author’s, were

  1. There was no overnight transformation, no magic bullet, just a series of real, practical steps requiring effort and commitment (and therefore much more applicable to most people’s lives).
  2. Instead of featuring someone I fancied myself as in a slightly more glamorous, story-book life (my “superhero self”), the author, in all her serious, grudge-bearing imperfection is actually much more like the real me than I like to admit.

Unfortunately, the week after I finished it, it was due back at the library but I managed to spend some time going through the book again and picked out some of the bits that might work for me. In fact, at the back of the book she includes the web address for her blog and some practical tools that might help the reader with their own happiness project.

And so I have mapped out my own rough Happiness Project for 2015, starting this month, Februray, with “Attitude”…. TBC!

 

New Year’s Resolutions- the return

I know last year I wrote a post on NYRs and how I don’t believe in them any more, but this year I need to make a few changes. Not absolute rules, but efforts I intend to make to get more out of life and hopefully make things a bit easier.

 De-clutter my head and my time, not just my space

  Physical decluttering is an ongoing task which I’m quite happy to do and reasonably good at. I find it liberating and rewarding. Mental decluttering, on the other hand, I am terrible at. My job requires me to multitask at a sometimes crazy level, and over the years this has crept into my non-work life too, increasingly encouraged and facilitated by social media and portable electronic devices (5 years ago I didn’t even have wireless at home- to use the internet I had to go to my desk and sit at my computer- imagine how much more productive I’d be now if that were the case!!!). I surf the net in the evenings. I don’t read books, I don’t talk to Mr L in the evening, even setting aside the laptop to watch a TV show feels like a major act of restraint. And it’s crazy. I have discovered one or two things online (see below) that I think have the potential to enhance my life, but mostly, it’s crap. So I’m going to lay down some guidelines that will hopefully see me managing to fit in more of the things I want to do (see below) and wasting less of the time I have to do them in.

Improve my eating habits

  I could devote a whole post, no, actually a whole BLOG to this (and obviously there are many of those) but I have been eating waaaay too much, with the lethal combination of pregnancy and Christmas lead-up resulting in hunger being a very infrequent occurrence lately! Enough about that for now, but I need to rein it in a bit.

Get more sleep

  I think if I declutter my head I will be able to do this much more easily. I fill my brain with internet nonsense, interspersed with frequent FB and email checks, so when I do get to bed, my mind is still racing with thoughts about what someone has posted/sent me/responses I can post etc etc.

  I also REALLY need to get an alarm clock. How will an alarm clock help me get MORE sleep??? Well, at the moment I only have my phone as a time-telling device, and when I wake up and check the time, it’s soooo tempteing to see if that crucial email has come through, or read the FB notiftication that’s on my home screen. If I replaced my phone with a clock to tell the time and wake me up (if that ever ceases to be the role of my children) i can leave my phone downstairs.

Look into happiness a bit more as a principle, not just an abstract concept

  One of the more useful things I stumbled across on FB (in contrast to the previously mentioned time-wastage) was this TED talk by Shawn Achor. For a while now I’ve been quite intrigued by this friend of mine- really a girl I went to school with who I always considered way too cool to even dream of calling a friend. She is now living in the US and seems to have found this spirituality and sense of meaning to her life which intrigues me. I’m fairly sure it’s not a religious type of spirituality [forgive me if I’m wrong, if you ever happens to read this, Katrina!], it seems more about doing good and feeling good and spreading good.  Good is a bit of a bland word, I know, but it’s more realistic than love and more grammatically correct than nice-ness. Anyway, in a nutshell, this guy talks about how people really try and put the cart before the horse and have lists of goals and life plans and things to aim for, they strive to reach a state of affairs which they believe is synonymous with happiness. Assuming they actually achieve all those things, though, inevitably there is then something new to aim for and so the goal posts shift or the finish line moves further away and they’re still not happy. Instead, he proposes we start recognizing and acknowledging the happiness that already exists in our lives, and in doing so become more content, more fulfilled and thereby inadvertently more productive (and if not, then at least happier without even having to tick off our to-do list- I extrapolated there, I don’t think he actually says that.) As a goal-setter from way back this had an immediate appeal to me. As I outlined in this post,  despite having achieved a lot, for example, at school, I still left with a great feeling of having missed out….

[As I finish off this post, it turns out today I received as a Christmas gift a voucher for a Kikki K workshop. I can choose between organisation, DIY, goals or happiness, and I think I’ll have no choice now that I’ve written this, but to go with happiness. Exciting!]

Calm, Kind, Courageous

Something else that she-of-the-happy-spiritual-blog mentioned, that I need to look into more, is choosing 3 concepts or qualities that you want to focus on and then approach everything (particularly challenges) in your life with those 3 things as guiding principles…. More TF.

Do more of the following

  I’m hoping that with a less cluttered head space less wasted time (and one more child- yeah right!) that maybe I’ll find some time to do more of any or all of the following. Things I’d kind of like to do, if I had all the time in the world would be:

  • Reading- anything’ll do, I have a load of books on my e-reader to get started on, so this should be achievable if I can make time
  • Relaxing/meditating/etc- I’ve never been good at meditating, yoga, or anything that involves switching my brain off (or at least focusing solely on the experience at hand). Even as a child on long car journeys (any car journey, really), I’d entertain myself with elaborate fantasies about all sorts of things, and happily pass the time day-dreaming away. My mind is not used to being quiet.
  • Doing something creative- Sadly, I’m not remotely artistic (and actually not really creative either) but I can usually follow a set of  basic instructions to produce a recipe, an easy sewing project, or a craft item. Not that I’m wanting to inflict home-sewn clothes on my kids (well unless I got really good!) but there are loads of handy little things I often think it’d be quite nice to whip up, even for presents etc. Anyway I think the sewing thing’s a way off but I got a craft knife and a few other bits and bobs for Xmas which might see me making my own birthday cards or something in 2015….

Anyway, it’s Christmas Day today, so Merry Christmas, Nadolig Llawen and general happy thoughts to all….